So…the book’s live. And instantly, I’ve got mixed feelings. Pride, shock, fear, regret; these four seem to take turns coming in waves. The general talking-down process I’ve adopted goes as follows:
1) It’s nowhere near as bad as ________ (and I’ve inserted a lot of authors and works into that blank; decorum prevents me from naming them); and
2) It probably won’t sell anyway, so what does it matter; and
3) I’ve checked some sort of bucket-list box by pushing the PUBLISH button on AKDP; and
4) If the book makes a difference in the life of one person, for one day, then perhaps I’ve done something.
What’s strange is that I have none of the same feelings connected to Dogs of Prague work. Mike and I will dash off something like ‘Whiskey King’ or ‘The Lost Carnival’ or ‘Metaphor,’ and I have zero fear regarding either the song’s content or its performance. And yes, I can certainly rationalize that as time invested; Reswyt took well over a year to write, whereas I think the creative process for any given Dogs song might run a few days, a week at most.
Strange. Is it because I have different expectations of one than the other? Or because writing is so much more personal?